It’s time to stop playing Dishwasher Tetris and arguing with your husband.
I have a friend who constantly argued with his wife about loading the dishwasher. She consistently reloaded it after he had filled it.
He said he was going to stop loading the dishwasher if she kept redoing what he did.
Why should he spend the effort if someone was going to redo it?
Yes, it’s hard when you prefer something to be done a certain way. It might mean that you won’t let others clean the kitchen because you prefer it done in a specific manner.
But what is that doing to your mental and physical health?
And what happens if it’s done differently? If it’s done and you get a break from it, I’d call that a win!
Yes, releasing that control is hard. I get it.
It’s also totally worth finding a way, even just a little, to relinquish some of that control.
How amazing would it be to sit on your back porch with a glass of wine or cup of tea while someone else cleans the kitchen?
Or maybe you’re helping your son do his homework while your partner helps your daughter make her lunch. And you trust that your husband and daughter know what they’re doing!
And you’re not the one reminding everyone what needs to happen!
Imagine how that would feel!
Society has conditioned women since we were young that we need to be in charge of everything and that how things are done is important.
So, let’s change that with a conversation about the Minimum Standard of Care (MSC).
This conversation creates agreed-upon values about a task and is a great way to discuss what a completed task looks like. It is not the person with higher standards getting their way or someone demanding a person lower their standards.
It’s finding common ground that you both agree upon. If you cannot agree to the Minimum Standard of Care (MSC), ask yourselves:
- Would a reasonable person (in this case, your partner, spouse, babysitter, caregivers, parents, and in-laws) under similar circumstances do as I’ve done?
- What is the community standard, and do we want to adopt this standard within our own home?
- What’s the harm in doing, or not doing, it this way?
- What is our “why”?
You might both need to give a little to meet at a place where you both agree.
Remember, your end goal here is to have less on your plate. To share the mental load with your partner.
I’m here to help you have this conversation with your husband. Sign up for a Share The Load call today! Your future self will thank you.
Or, if you’re ready to start working with me, let’s see which of my programs is the best fit!