Manis/Pedis. Massages. Bubbles baths. Chocolate (or your favorite junk food). This is what we talk about as self-care.

I don’t believe any of these things are really self-care. They’re what society has told us is self-care. 

And we’re told that we should be taking care of ourselves. Not feeling guilty for taking that bubble bath or getting a massage. 

And yes, we should be taking care of ourselves. And no, we should not be feeling guilty for filling our cups. 

But we need to take some time to figure out what really feeds our souls. And, we should be taking the time to find activities that we truly enjoy. Not what we think we should be doing. 

We need to be building lives that we don’t need to escape from. 

This means that we don’t need a weekly massage so that we can have an hour of quiet time because we have time to ourselves and for ourselves built into the week (and we actually make that time happen).  

That we’re not hiding in the pantry eating cookies straight from the package while hiding from our kids because we actually enjoy spending time with them. We fill their cups too and we have scheduled breaks from them to fill our cups.  

Yes, I do enjoy my hot chocolate. I believe chocolate feeds my soul. I am also aware that it’s a quick fix. It’s not going to fix whatever it is that got me to this place of feeling drained. 

Now, if you love your weekly massages, then have them. But don’t use them as your only form of self-care. Same for manis/pedis. 

What do you do for self-care? Beyond bubble baths and massages? What really feeds your soul?

For me, going to bed early with a good book fills my cup. Sometimes it’s a long phone call with a friend. 

Want to get started on creating a life you don’t need to escape from? Join my virtual community, Stride Together.