Category Archives: routines

You Do Not Have To Be The One Doing Everything!

Ever feel like things don’t happen in your household unless you do them or spend time reminding others to do them?

reminding others

It’s like no one takes out the trash unless you remind someone to take it out. You’re the only one putting away laundry and making sure the pantry has the right snacks.

After a while, this gets exhausting and frustrating. And it likely builds up some resentment. You don’t want to be doing everything by yourself. You’re wondering why your partner doesn’t see that you need help.

Wondering why he doesn’t see all of the hard work you put into making sure everyone has what they need. Your daughter is registered for track and she has the right shoes. Your son is registered for his hip-hop class and has a ride to and from the class.

That the toilet paper your husband likes is in the bathroom. So is his favorite toothpaste.

You probably feel like if you ran away for the week, no one would take their vitamins, buy ketchup, or remember to feed the fish.

What if I told you that others can complete household tasks without you reminding others to do something? Or doing it yourself because that feels easier.

No, it doesn’t have to be all on you. It is possible.

Without post-it notes on the bathroom mirror.

Or threatening to throw out clothes that don’t make it in the dirty clothes hamper.

It is possible to know the kitchen is clean at the end of the day. And you are not the one to come in at 9 pm and finish it up (or do it all).

The secret to creating this shift is getting you and your partner on the same team.

I hear you rolling your eyes at me. I know you are currently the household manager, making sure everything happens when it should. And you’re worried that if you change this, things will fall apart.

But what if I told you there is a way to communicate what needs to happen in a manner that gets your partner to listen? That gets you on the same team. No more reminding others in the house to take out the trash.

This isn’t where one person manages everything. This is where each person takes on specific tasks and completes them from beginning to end without reminders.

You know that tasks are being taken care of and you can stop feeling like you have 75 open tabs in your brain.

This is the magic of the Fair Play Method. It works. And it can work for you too.

It’s a way for you to start letting go of some of the mental load. In a way that gets your partner involved (and maybe even your kids!).

It is possible and there is hope.

It all starts with a conversation. I know this sounds simple and maybe too good to be true.

Start by reading the Fair Play Conversation Starter Playbook.

Get that first conversation with your partner on the calendar. Then, we can take the next steps together.

Let’s talk about laundry and why it never ends.

Ever feel like you are always doing laundry? 

There’s always laundry. In the dirty laundry hamper, the dryer, and the clean clothes hamper. 

There’s probably a pile somewhere you’ve forgotten about. 

Laundry is cyclical. You’ll never really be done with it. 

And that’s ok. It means you can take a breath and maybe not be quite so overwhelmed by laundry.

As long as everyone in your family has clean clothes every day (most days?) you are on top of your laundry. 

When my oldest was born, I never folded my sheets. I washed them regularly. But the 2nd set was always shoved in the closet instead of neatly folded. I was too tired and did not care. No one was digging through my closets judging how near and organized it was. And I figured if Martha Stewart came to visit, she could fold my sheets. 

Let’s take a few minutes to talk about laundry and how best to feel on top of it. 

Start by asking yourself the following questions: 

  • How often do I need to do laundry? (One load a day?) (twice a week?) I wash clothes one day a week and sheets and towels on another day. I have a friend who does one load each day. Try different routines to see what works and feels doable.
  • How long does each step take? Time yourself. Sometimes that laundry basket feels like a big project but only takes 5 minutes. How long do each of the following steps take:
    • Sorting
    • Putting in washer/washing 
    • Putting in dryer/drying 
    • Hanging up anything that needs to air-dry
    • Folding
    • Putting away
  • Who else can help? 

Get Your Kids Involved!

My kids are learning to do their laundry. My 11-year-old can do it herself without my help and my 9-year-old needs support. 

laundry

One of my kids lives out of her clean clothes basket because she doesn’t like putting away her clothes. She knows how to put away her laundry. She has no interest in doing it. My goal is not to require her to put away her laundry every week but to know how to put it away when she’s ready. 

I prefer putting my clothes away the day I wash them because I dislike sorting through the laundry basket or dryer trying to find what I’m looking for. 

Get kids involved when they’re little. You don’t need to fold little kid clothes. Sort by type and put in a drawer. Toddlers can learn to sort laundry by shirts / pants / socks. 

If you feel your partner can’t wash laundry because he’ll likely shrink something, separate your delicates from the rest of the clothes. I have a separate basket for things to hang dry. I have enough that I do a separate load of delicates. But if there’s not enough for a separate load, use a mesh bag. Everything to hang dry goes in the mesh bag. Your partner can learn that the mesh bag means items to be hung up to dry. He is capable of this. 

You can also use mesh bags to keep socks together. 

Don’t use hampers with lids. Make it as easy as possible to put dirty laundry in the hamper. Lids add an extra step. 

If it is important to you and worth your time to have your closets perfectly organized and Pinterest-worthy, go for it. 

I’m going to suggest that you, make it as easy as possible to put clothes away. Use baskets (without lids). Have a drawer for all your workout gear. 

I have one kid who prefers hanging up her shirts. My other kid does not. I’m not a fan of hanging up shirts. But I recently started folding my shirts Marie-Kondo style, so they sit like file folders on the shelf. It’s easier than I expected and my shirts stay organized. 

There will always be laundry. So take some time this week to figure out how to make it work best for you and your family. 

It doesn’t have to be something that’s weighing you down! 

Want help with your laundry routine? Sign up for a Get On Track Call today!

It’s time for you to go to bed. Yes, I’m talking to you, mom.

That’s right. Mom, you need to go to bed. No more doom scrolling. Or promising you’ll go to bed after this next episode. I want you to brush your teeth, wash your face, and go to bed. Leave your phone in the other room. Mom, it’s time for you to go to bed.

Sleep is important. If you’ve been skimping on sleep because you feel overwhelmed by everything you must do, stop it. Sleep (and taking breaks) actually helps you get more done each day.

When you’re tired, you’re not efficient.

You make mistakes.

You’re slower both physically and mentally.

So go to bed.

Also, you deserve rest, regardless of how productive you are.

Before you go to bed though, spend some time thinking about your evening routines. What can you do at night to make your mornings better? Pack lunches? Pack backpacks and work bags? Set out breakfast?

go to bed bedside

Ok. Once you’re getting some sleep, start thinking about your morning routines. Are you getting up earlier than your kids? What needs to happen in the morning to make the rest of your day easier? Run the dishwasher? Put dinner in the crockpot?

Spending some time getting your morning and evening routines working helps make the rest of your days easier!

If you want to talk through your routines, schedule a Get On Track Call with me.

A Game of Mousetrap

Have you ever played the game of Mousetrap? I remember sitting in my grandparent’s house, putting the game together. I don’t think we ever played the game as designed. Just put the pieces together and sent the marble through the system. My kids now do the same thing.

a game of mousetrap

There’s cause and effect. If something goes wrong, the end result is different. Consequently, when things go smoothly, you get what you want in the end (unless you’re the mouse being caught).

It builds on itself. You need the pieces to connect in a certain way for it to work.

The same can be said for systems (and routines) in our own life. Pieces need to connect in certain ways. And when something is off, things can go wrong.

What routines in your life need some work? What systems can you create?

I’ve blocked time on my calendar for my marketing tasks. I sit down every Monday morning and work my way through a checklist of tasks related to marketing. I tackle the ones I don’t want to do first because I know I won’t do them otherwise. If I don’t sit down on Monday morning with these tasks, they’re less likely to get done for the week.

If I don’t do laundry on Sunday afternoons, I have to create time for it somewhere else in my week. I prefer to do my laundry on Sunday and do my best to keep that routine. Also, I won’t wash laundry that isn’t already in the dirty laundry hampers! I refuse to walk around the house picking up dirty socks.

What do you need to put in place? What can you tweak?

Here are a few to think about.

  • Laundry
  • Meal planning
  • Family meetings
  • Processing emails (personal and work)
  • Recurring work tasks

Routines, once put in place, can take so much work out of our days. They clear up our brains for other things!

How To Add Routines To Your Family Life To Make Life Easier

Let’s talk about how to add routines to your family life! Sometimes a little structure is helpful!

It’s 5 pm. I’m staring at the fridge, wondering what we’re going to have for dinner. I don’t like to cook. If it’s not planned or prepped, we’re having frozen pizza.

Once we started weekly meal planning (and prepping) our weeknight dinners got easier. Veggies and potatoes were prepped and the meat was defrosted. All I needed to do was turn on the oven, toss everything in a pan, and roast it.

Sunday is laundry day. I refuse to wash clothes any other day of the week unless absolutely necessary. If you want your clothes washed, they better be in the hamper when I start. Otherwise, it will wait until next week.

Add routines to your family life

I’m working on implementing certain days of the week for certain work tasks. Something like Marketing Monday, where Monday is focused on all my marketing tasks. Maybe you have planning meetings on certain days of the week or focus on specific projects at specific times.

Do you find routines stifling or helpful?

Do you think that having routines in your life helps with your creativity? Or hurts it?

It is possible to have routines in your life and also flexibility. When your days are planned and structured down to the minute, any disruption throws things into disarray.

When you have routines and structure with space for the unexpected, everything flows smoothly.

What routines do you need in your days?

Below are a few areas to add routines to your life.

  • Laundry
  • Meal planning and prep
  • Recurring work tasks
  • Morning routines
  • Evening routines

Ask yourself the following questions related to building routines.

  • What are all the steps needed to complete this routine?
  • When does each step need to happen?
  • Who is responsible for each step?

I also recommend spending the last 30 minutes of your workday cleaning up your workspace. Check your calendar and tasks for tomorrow. Celebrate what you accomplished today. Process emails. File paperwork. Check your physical inbox, if you have one. Prepare yourself for tomorrow.

When you add routines to your family life, life gets easier! And when your brain knows that tasks are taken care of, it can solve other problems!

Want to take this further? Schedule a Get On Track call with me!

Why Timing Your Tasks is a Time Saver

Have you ever dreaded a task because it felt like it would take too much time? Then once you finally tackled it, it wasn’t as bad as you thought? Let’s talk about why timing your tasks can help save you time!

I used to feel like laundry was a big time suck (don’t we all?!)

So I decided to time myself one day. And I learned something valuable.

I realized it was taking me too long to fold laundry because my kid’s clothes are often inside out. I was spending too much time turning everything right side out.

ever dreaded a task?

So I stopped.

My daughter has worn pants the wrong side out because that’s how they came out of the drawer.

I’m not taking the time to fix that and apparently, my kids don’t care! And next time they’ll be correct because they turned right side out again when she took them off!

It seems to only bother the adults when kids wear something wrong-side out or backward. Let’s let it go!

And now I know that it takes me less than 10 minutes to fold a load of laundry. I can make that happen. Especially when I think about how much time we’ll spend digging through the laundry trying to find something if I don’t deal with it!

(Side note: My kids now sort and put away their laundry. One of my kids essentially lives out of her clean laundry basket.)

I’m sharing this story because your task list is long. And it could likely be shorter. But you’ve said yes to too many things. And you’re doing too much.

Do you know where your time goes? Not just guessing, but truly knowing?

And have you ever timed your tasks so that you know how long a recurring task takes?

Even if you think you know where your time goes, it’s helpful to track your time. Over a week, document each task, in 30-minute increments. This doesn’t mean that you sit down at the end of the day and write down what you think you did. You stop what you’re doing every 30 minutes and write it down. Use these resources to help with this.

Then go back and review your week. How much time was spent on social media? What time was wasted on activities that were unnecessary? How much time are you spending on work tasks? Were there any surprises or did it make sense to you?

Or, if tracking your time sounds like too much work, identify the tasks you do most often, for work or at home. And time them. How long does writing your weekly newsletter or monthly report take? How long does it take to empty the dishwasher, take out the trash, or plan your dinners for the week?

Use this information to change your future scheduling. Identify what’s working and what’s not.

I promise you that timing your tasks will save you time. You never know until you try!

Your future self will thank you.

I Don’t Have Time For This!

Do you keep appointments you make for yourself?

What about making time to do those things that aren’t high priorities but are things you’d like to do someday?

The things you know would make you happy or contribute to society in some way, but you’re too busy cleaning the house, completing work tasks, and entertaining the kids to get to?

I don't have time for this

What if you made appointments with yourself that you kept as strictly as you would a client meeting, doctor’s appointment, or coffee with a friend?

I’ve had several people ask me how to make time for things they’d like to do but aren’t high priorities. Taking digital classes (personal or professional), volunteering, and doing things outside of chore and work lists.

I suggest spending just 30 minutes taking a class. It’s not much, but over time you will make progress. Treat the time you schedule for yourself with as much respect as you would a client appointment or coffee with a friend.

Another suggestion includes letting go of the need to keep up with all the household tasks all the time. I’m not saying let your house grow mold. But what if you spend one afternoon a month volunteering? Your house isn’t going to fall apart during that time. Volunteering can be something social, where you meet new people. It can be something you do as a family.

And at the end of your life, you’re not going to remember having a spotless, well-maintained home. Or how many things you crossed off your task list. You’re going to remember the things you did with your family and friends. The experiences you created.

I’m not saying you should skip out on your priorities. But we also need to make time for ourselves and time for fun. And it’s ok to schedule it. You should schedule it, otherwise, it’s not going to happen.

And, when you take breaks from your task list, you just might find yourself more productive when you come back to it. You might find that doing something else helps you solve some big client problem or gives you an idea for something at work.

Your future self will thank you!

Let’s Talk Double Standards in Parenting. Dads Don’t Babysit.

Enough With The Double Standards in Parenting. Dads Don’t Babysit. Let’s talk about the double standards of parenting.

When you see a dad at the playground with his kids, what’s the first thing that goes through your head? Is it different than what you’d think about a mom at the playground?

When your partner takes care of the kids for an afternoon while you run errands or hang out with some girlfriends, what is going through your mind?

double standards in parenting

When I or my husband heads out for an evening with friends, the other one is fully in charge of the kids. That means if there’s a meltdown happening as I head out the door, I leave. Because my husband is also a parent and he can handle it. But I’ve had friends bail on dinner because one of their kids was having a tough time going to bed.

Now, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. If you feel your kids need you, then give them that attention.

But if you’re staying because you don’t think your partner can handle it, let’s talk about that.

There is this double standard in our society. When dads do something like take their kids to the park, we see it as this hero move. Oh, look at him, spending time with his kids. He’s such a good dad.

Yet, I could guarantee you we don’t say that about moms. When we see a mom at the park, it’s not a big deal. We’ll judge her for being on her phone or not playing with her kids. Maybe the kid falls down – it’s the mom’s fault. Not just what kids do.

My husband doesn’t babysit. He’s not a hero for taking the kids to the park or sitting down to play legos with them. He’s a dad. This is what parents do.

I’ll stay off my soap box for how our society has created this mess and how we feed right into it as parents.

But remember this, dads don’t babysit!

Are You Wearing Yourself Out Trying To Be Perfect?

Do you have such high expectations of yourself that you feel like you are never living up to them?

Ever feel like you are constantly trying to be perfect and it’s never enough?

Maybe you spend time late at night cleaning the house so it’s organized and clean all the time.

Or you stay up late perfecting a report for work, a presentation you’re giving, or an email you need to send a client.

Maybe you worry that you’re not doing enough for your kids. That they’re not in the right activities that are going to get them in to the right college.

And you feel like it’s never enough and that you are failing every day.

It seems like if we don’t meet our expectations, we question ourselves, not the expectations.

When maybe it’s our expectations that are the problem.

I think it’s society that’s setting us up for failure.

One of the things I focus on in my client work is designing a life that you want. Not living like society or social media tells you.

But focusing on what’s important to you and your family.

Instead of striving for some version of perfect that society is telling you to strive for, clarify your own version of success.

trying to be perfect

What are your goals? And what small step can you take today to move toward them?

What short-term tasks can you let go of to focus on a long-term goal? It might be letting the laundry sit for another day while you do some research on spending a summer in a foreign country. It could be hiring someone to deep clean your house once a month so you can spend time hiking with your family.

Ask yourself if the world will stop spinning if the task isn’t done perfectly. I’m guessing the answer is no. So maybe good enough or done is OK.

Don’t waste your days living someone else’s life!

Define your own success!

If you’re ready to figure this out in your own life, schedule a Get On Track call.

Or, sign up for my private podcast.

Decision Fatigue! Did You Know That You Make 35,000 Decisions A Day?

Let’s talk about decision fatigue.

Did you know that people make over 35,000 decisions a day?

This is why, when it’s time for dinner and you haven’t planned it, you have wine and M&M’s and feed your kids cereal (there’s nothing wrong with this, on occasion, by the way).

Moms already have enough on their plates. There’s no need to make life more complicated.

Having some basic routines and systems in your days and weeks helps simplify things. Remove decisions where you can.

decision fatigue

Have a menu that repeats every 2 weeks. You have chicken every Thursday. The spices and sides can change, but you know roughly what you’re eating. Every Monday is something vegetarian. Keep a list of meal ideas so you can easily plan those vegetarian meals without too much thought.

Have certain days of the week for laundry. Or, do one load a day. Figure out what laundry routine works best for you. I wash clothes on Sundays and sheets/towels on Fridays. I have a friend who does one full load (from washing to putting it away) every day. Figure out what works for you and your family and stick with it.

Have a list of things to which you will say no. This is important. Shiny objects. Clothes you don’t need. Toys your kids don’t need. Activities and commitments are just one more thing to keep track of. Figure out what’s important and say no to the rest!

The point is to take as many decisions as possible out of your day. Because 35,000 decisions a day is just too many!

Your future self will thank you!

Ready to deal with your decision fatigue? Sign up for my private podcast today!

My Daughter Wanted To Help Mom Clean Up The Mess

How did it get so messy? Does a pack of wild animals live here?

Big sigh.

We were all picking up toys and clutter so that we could more thoroughly clean it. My 5-year-old daughter refused to participate. She’s 5. She’s stubborn and she’s not going to do anything she doesn’t want to do.

So I let it go and we all moved on.

A little while later, I hear her saying she’s cleaning up to help mom clean up the mess.

Now, I understand that often our kids do stuff around the house to help mom. Mom’s the one who manages the chores and house cleaning (more on why this is a problem at a later date.

But I didn’t like the way she said this. I didn’t like that she was only doing it because Mom was mad.

We are a team in our household. Keeping the house clean and organized is not just mom’s job. It’s everyone’s job. Because we all live here.

We don’t clean the house to make mom happy. We clean and declutter the house so we can find what we need and don’t get ants.

Everyone participates in keeping the house functioning.

Here are some ideas to get everyone involved:

  • Make it fun. Don’t tell your kid to go clean their room. Their brains will shut down and it won’t happen.
    • Help them play the seek and sort game.
    • Turn it into a game. We play basketball with my kids’ laundry. You can do the same with any toys that go into a bin. (side note, don’t use bins with lids.
    • Have kids race against you (never against each other. Siblings are already competitive enough). See if they can put something away faster than you.
  • Make it easy to put things away. (Lids add one more step).
  • Have special time with them first.
  • Do something fun together as a family once you’re done.
to help me

If your kids are older, these same guidelines apply. Get them to participate. Ask them how they want to participate (and skipping out is not an option).

Build routines around decluttering and cleaning.

Keep it small. We clean half the house each weekend so it’s not overwhelming. We pick up most of the mess each day so it doesn’t get overwhelming.

Everything has a home, so it’s easy to put things away.

How cluttered your house gets is up to you and those who live there. What is your level of acceptance of mess? I don’t have the energy for a spotless house every day. I do like a weekly reset.

Figure out what works for your family. It’s not just help mom clean up the mess.

Spend some time this week talking with your family about how to start working together to keep the house functioning. Pick one of the above ideas and put it into action!

Ready to implement this in your life? Sign up for my private podcast!

Where Do I Even Start? It’s Such a Mess?

In this beautiful book I read with my kids, Suzy’s mom tells her to pick up her room. Her room is such a mess that she’s not even sure where to start. She feels overwhelmed by the mess. What should she do?

Have you been there?

Have you ever taken a look at your kitchen, the piles of kids’ toys, your to-do list for work, and just stood there?

Overwhelmed and unsure of where to even start?

such a mess

I have.

The endless lists. The piles that keep appearing, like a game of whack-a-mole. The dishes, laundry, kids’ toys. The emails, slack messages, interruptions. The work projects.

Where do you even start when it’s such a mess?

Do what Suzy and her mom do. (and what I do with my kids when their toys are all over the house).

Play the seek and sort game. Pick one task, one list, one subject. And start.

Process your emails (not just read them, but respond, delete, file, figure out the next action).

Find that one task that’s been lingering on your list and do it.

Find all the tasks that will take less than two minutes and see how many you can do in 30 minutes.

Identify the next step on an important work project and take it.

Set a timer for 15 minutes and work on that task you have been avoiding.

The point here is to pick one spot, any spot, and tackle it.

And, if you’re really struggling, put all the tasks on separate sheets of paper in a bowl and draw one out. Do it. Repeat.

Seek. Sort. Start.

Your future self will thank you.

This is a true picture of my kid’s old playroom. It was amazing how quickly they made a mess to the point that they couldn’t play in it! And we had to pick one spot, one toy category, and start cleaning up! Life can feel this messy sometimes, huh?!

Sign up for my private podcast for more ideas!

Are You Tired of Making Lunches?

In the movie Bad Moms, Amy (played by Mila Kunis), has taken on so many tasks in her family. She does her best to make her kids’ lives magical. She does their homework. Makes their breakfast. Makes their lunches. Drives them to all their activities.

She does it all.

And she’s exhausted.

makes their lunches

At one point, after she’s realized how hard she works and how she’s done doing all the tasks, she tells her kids to make their own lunch. They look stunned. Mom has always done everything for them! And now they have to do something for themselves.

And you know what happens? They figure it out.

Yes, they grumble a bit. They leave a mess in the kitchen. But they make their own lunches.

Moms have been told, over and over, that in order to show our kids that we love them, we must do everything for them. From making fancy breakfasts every morning to packing their lunches, and maybe even doing their homework.

Go overboard for the holidays with decorations, gifts, food.

Throw elaborate birthday parties.

We sign our kids up for so many activities and schedule numerous playdates.

Because society has told us this is what we’re supposed to be doing. That this makes us good moms.

When in reality, it makes us tired and resentful. And makes our kids rely on us for everything.

Now, I hate making lunches. Always have. So I taught my kids from a young age how to make their own.

Do they make a mess? Yes. Do they help clean it up? Yes. Are they getting better at it? Yes.

We make it as simple as possible. Pack snack-size containers with raisins and goldfish on the weekends so that they’re ready to pack (the kids help with this too). Keep ingredients to make sandwiches on hand. Have a list of easy-to-make lunch ideas. And we work on making lunches together, after dinner each night.

Eventually, they’ll be able to pack their lunches without help.

What’s something that you can start teaching your kids to do on their own? Something you can eventually move off your plate, onto someone else’s?

Yes, it might get messy. Yes, it might take some time for your kids to learn. But in the long run? It’s better for all of you!

Reply to this email and let me know what you are going to start working on with your kids?

Your future self will thank you.

P.S. Want to learn more about what it’s like to work with me? Schedule a Get On Track call!

Dirty Dishes and The Invisible Load

We run our dishwasher a lot. There is often a clean load in the dishwasher, with even more dishes sitting on the kitchen counter waiting to be dealt with. So many dishes!

so many dishes

At some point, I realized that I had it in my head that my husband expected me to deal with the dishes. Yes, we both work from home. But my schedule is more flexible. So, of course, why wouldn’t I be the one to deal with all the household tasks too?

Sound familiar? As moms, we take on all the household tasks because it feels easier that way. Without thinking about it.

In reality, it wasn’t that he expected me to do it. He wasn’t thinking about it at all. He was focused on work. And he would deal with the dishes later, after work, while he was making dinner.

I read an article in the Atlantic about how men and women are equally messy. But men don’t notice as much. Women feel a lot of pressure to keep their spaces clean, organized, and pretty. Ourselves too. Now, I will leave space in here on how we feel more in control of our lives when we’ve cleaned and purged our house. I too clean and organize when I’m stressed out.

But, women are conditioned from a young age that keeping the house and family organized is our responsibility. Our worth is wrapped up in it. Women operate on a different time scale than men. So it appears that we take it all on because men won’t. When men just haven’t been conditioned to deal with it as quickly as women.

And the pattern continues. Women take on the tasks because we think men aren’t going to do it, instead of letting them do it in their own way. Then the men just stop doing tasks around the house, because the women do it all anyway. And the exhausting cycle continues.

And our kids see this. They see mom doing all the household chores, organizing schedules, and planning everything. And they grow up thinking that’s how it’s done.

It’s time to change that narrative.

I realize that I’m asking women to take on one more thing here. I’m also asking women to get their partners in on this. To start having these conversations together. To start shifting the dynamics in your house to more equity. Where everyone in the household is involved, down to the youngest child.

When my kids complain about not wanting to do something around the house, I remind them that we all live here. We all contribute to the household and we all need to work together. And then we read a book titled The Great Zooberry Debacle: A Tale of Many Hands.

Start paying attention to when you take it all on. When you are the one worrying about everything and feeling like people are judging you if things aren’t perfect.

Your future self will thank you.

When you’re ready to stop feeling pulled in too many directions and add a sense of control and peace to your days, schedule a call with me, and let’s talk about my coaching programs.

Here Are Some Ideas to Deal With a Never-ending To-Do List.

Ever feel like you have a never-ending to-do list?

Years ago, my husband and I went hiking in Acadia, in northern Maine. As we were coming back down the trail, we kept thinking that the trail would end around the next bend. Around the next bend, we’ll be back at the car. This went on for some time. It seemed the trail was never going to end! 

around the next bend.

We still joke about it. It’s become a mantra in our lives whenever something seems to be taking longer than it should. It’ll end around the next bend. 

Maybe this is how you feel about your to-do list. That you’ll get through it soon. It has to get shorter sometime, right? If you just keep chipping away at it. Skipping sleep. Not taking breaks. 

Around the next bend. 

Let’s be honest. In this case, it’s not going to end around the next bend. There will always be something on our to-do list. It might feel more manageable some days or weeks. But there will always be tasks. 

I’m not telling you this to make you sad and feel defeated. I want you to make the realization that it’s ok to take a break from the list. To put something fun on it. Or even put it in a drawer for the afternoon and go do something for yourself. 

Then, after that break, come back and let’s talk about how to handle the never-ending list. When you really feel like you don’t have the time to deal with what’s on it. Or to even make a dent in the list. 

Where do you start? 

Start with a brain dump. Take 10 minutes and write down everything that’s floating around in your head. All the ideas and tasks. Find the post-its and notes you’ve left everywhere. Get them all in one spot. Pull out tasks lost in your emails. 

Once you have all the tasks in one place, it’s easier to see your priorities. It can’t all be a priority, so you’ll need some guidelines here. Ask yourself the following questions: 

  • What are the quickest / closest deadlines? 
  • What is making my business money? 
  • What project do I need to get started on soon? 
  • Are there tasks on here that I can delete or delegate? 

What are the next steps? 

Next, write out each step, as small as possible for all your projects. This helps you get moving on your projects because you know the next steps. 

You can’t claim you don’t have the time, because you can make the time for small steps. 

What are your goals and values? 

Another place to start is understanding what’s important to you. When you know your goals for your business and your family, you can easily identify the tasks that get you there. Anything else can be deleted. 

Say No

The next part is learning to say no. When you know what’s on your plate, you know if another project or client is the right fit. 

Remember, future you is just as busy as today you. Only say yes to something in the future if you would say yes to it tomorrow. 

Saying yes to a big project means saying no to something else. 

Maybe a goal of yours is to spend more time with your family or on exercise or to create another part of your business. Saying yes to a new project or client might take away from that. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth it. 

That to-do list might never end, even around the next bend. But you can take back control and deal with it in a way that works for you. So the trail doesn’t feel so long. And you can enjoy the scenery along the way.

If you want more ideas on how to deal with that never-ending to-do list, sign up for my private podcast. You’ll get quick and easy tips in an easy-to-digest format!

How To Evaluate How You Spend Your Days

Do you spend your days crossing tasks off your to-do list and making plans and going and going and going? It can be important to stop and evaluate how you spend your days.

Take some time to check in with what’s working and what’s not. Ask ourselves questions and really reflect on what we’re doing.

evaluate how you spend your days

I know. I know. You don’t have the time.

But, what if taking this time helped you create more time?

Start by tracking your time. Every 30 minutes, stop and write down what you are doing. Don’t wait until the end of the day because it won’t be accurate. You can find a PDF or an app to help you here.

Take some time, even 15 minutes, and ask yourself the following questions.

  • What commitments have you taken on in the last 3 months? Are they working for you? Or do you need to find a way to let them go?
  • Are there routines that need to shift?
  • What do the next 3 months look like? What projects do you need to plan now?

When you evaluate your time, you might find places to make changes, freeing up time you didn’t think you had! I had a client who tracked her time and we discovered she was going to the grocery store multiple times each week. We streamlined the way she shopped and were able to give her time back in her week.

Want to get started on this? Schedule a call with me.

What to do when you are overwhelmed, Mom?

What do you do when you are overwhelmed, Mom? When you want to run away from your life?

I know my life is reaching a point of overwhelm when there are too many post-it notes. When I feel like all I’m doing is creating to-do lists. But not actually doing any of the tasks on the post-its or lists. 

When this happens, I take a few minutes to get all the tasks and ideas out of my head. Then figure out what needs to happen right now, today, or this week. 

When we have a sense of our commitments, it’s easier to say yes or no to something. If it’s a work project, we can talk about renegotiating deadlines. If it’s a volunteer commitment, we know if have the time to give. If it’s our kids asking to do one more activity, we can have a conversation as a family about whether it makes sense or will lead to more overwhelm.

overwhelmed, mom

overwhelmed woman with too many people asking things of her.
How many things have you said yes to in your life because you:
  1. Didn’t know how to say no at the moment?
  2. Felt obligated to do it even though you really didn’t want to?

Remember that every time you say yes to something you are saying no to something else. And sometimes we have to say no to something that seems like a great opportunity because we know that there’s a better one out there. (Or, we know we need to leave breathing room in our schedules). Make sure that yes is worth it. 

I want you to design a life that you don’t need to escape from. One that doesn’t have you dreading every Monday. Where you aren’t resentful of the activities you and your family are committed to outside of work and school. 

It’s a life full of activities and tasks that deserve to be there.

If you’re feeling resentful and want to figure out a way to change this, let’s talk

Do you find routines stifling or helpful?

Let’s talk about whether you find routines stifling or helpful.

It’s 5 pm. I’m staring at the fridge, wondering what we’re going to have for dinner. I don’t like to cook. If it’s not planned or prepped, we’re having frozen pizza. 

Once we started weekly meal planning (and prepping) our weeknight dinners got easier. Veggies and potatoes were prepped and the meat was defrosted. All I needed to do was turn on the oven, toss everything in a pan, and roast it. 

Sunday is laundry day. I refuse to wash clothes any other day of the week unless absolutely necessary. If you want your clothes washed, they better be in the hamper when I start. Otherwise, it will wait until next week. 

Routines are helpful
concept. tired housewife meditates in lotus position in laundry room near washing machine and dirty clothes

I’m working on implementing certain days of the week for certain work tasks. Something like marketing Monday where Monday is focused on all my marketing tasks. Maybe you have planning meetings on certain days of the week or focus on specific projects at specific times. 

Do you find routines stifling or helpful? Do you think that having routines in your life helps with your creativity or hurts it? 

It is possible to have routines in your life and also flexibility. When your days are planned and structured down to the minute, any disruption throws things into disarray. 

When you have routines and structure with space for the unexpected, everything flows smoothly. 

What routines do you need in your days? Below are a few areas to add routines to your days. 

  • Laundry
  • Meal planning and prep
  • Recurring work tasks
  • Morning routines
  • Evening routines

Ask yourself the following questions related to building routines:

  • What are all the steps needed to complete this routine?
  • When does each step need to happen?
  • Who is responsible for each step?

I also recommend spending the last 30 minutes of your workday cleaning up your workspace. Check your calendar and tasks for tomorrow. Celebrate what you accomplished today. Process emails. File paperwork. Check your physical inbox, if you have one. Prepare yourself for tomorrow. 

Routines can make your life easier! And when your brain knows that tasks are taken care of, it can solve other problems!

Want more ideas on adding routines to your life? Sign up for my private podcast!

Real Self-care. It’s not what you think.

Manis/Pedis. Massages. Bubbles baths. Chocolate (or your favorite junk food). This is what we talk about as self-care.

I don’t believe any of these things are really self-care. They’re what society has told us is self-care. 

massages. bubble baths. self-care.

And we’re told that we should be taking care of ourselves. Not feeling guilty for taking that bubble bath or getting a massage. 

And yes, we should be taking care of ourselves. And no, we should not be feeling guilty for filling our cups. 

But we need to take some time to figure out what really feeds our souls. And, we should be taking the time to find activities that we truly enjoy. Not what we think we should be doing. 

We need to be building lives that we don’t need to escape from. 

This means that we don’t need a weekly massage so that we can have an hour of quiet time because we have time to ourselves and for ourselves built into the week (and we actually make that time happen).  

That we’re not hiding in the pantry eating cookies straight from the package while hiding from our kids because we actually enjoy spending time with them. We fill their cups too and we have scheduled breaks from them to fill our cups.  

Yes, I do enjoy my hot chocolate. I believe chocolate feeds my soul. I am also aware that it’s a quick fix. It’s not going to fix whatever it is that got me to this place of feeling drained. 

Now, if you love your weekly massages, then have them. But don’t use them as your only form of self-care. Same for manis/pedis. 

What do you do for self-care? Beyond bubble baths and massages? What really feeds your soul?

For me, going to bed early with a good book fills my cup. Sometimes it’s a long phone call with a friend. 

Want to get started on creating a life you don’t need to escape from? Join my virtual community, Stride Together.

It’s Not That Simple When There Are Too Many Steps.

Sometimes, there are too many steps.

I’m standing in my kitchen. I need to empty my coffee maker. I’d like to clean it out too.

it's not that simple

Toys on stair with foot about to step no them.

But I’m stuck. The compost bin is full and if I attempt to dump coffee grounds in it, the grounds will end up all over the counter.

I don’t want to take the time to empty the compost bin before I clean out the coffee maker. It’s a few steps, but it feels like too many right now. I have other things I need to get to. 

So, I do what any sane person would do in this situation, I walk away to deal with it later. 

While this is a simple (and maybe silly) problem, this feeling of being stuck, of wanting to deal with something but feeling overwhelmed by the steps, is common. 

It might be wanting to hire a housecleaner or a nanny. Maybe it’s getting your kids to do more around the house. Or you want regular date nights with your partner but don’t have a reliable babysitter.

Whatever it is, take a few minutes to figure out the steps to get you there. Whether it’s researching babysitters or asking your neighbors for their housecleaner recommendations.

Whether it’s something where you need to do it yourself or you want to delegate it, getting started is tough.

But think about what that’s costing you in the long run. If you could hire a nanny or a house cleaner, what kind of time would that get you? 

Figure out the first step and then take it.

Want support? Schedule a Get On Track Call today.