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Giving Tree: Your Time is Just as Important as Everyone Else’s.

Have you read Shell Silverstein’s book, The Giving Tree?

The tree continues giving to the man until there’s nothing left to give. She’s a stump, having given all herself away.

If I were to ask you how you feel when you give to your family, what words come to mind? When you are making sure everyone has the right toothpaste and clean socks. When you are taking care of all the emotional needs that come with raising children!

Do the following words resonate with you? Noble? Generous? Valuable? Purposeful? Sacrificial? Depleted? Resentful? Angry?

Have you become a giving tree in your own life? Giving to others without giving anything to yourself? And ultimately, you end up resentful that you never get to focus on your own goals because you are too busy serving your family.

Society has conditioned moms to give every ounce of themselves to their families. And to feel guilty when they want to take any time for themselves. Whether to take a nap, a long shower, or focus on their own goals.

It doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, it can’t be this way.

When you constantly give yourself to others, you become resentful and drained.

You can even end up physically ill from giving so much of yourself to others.

However, when you learn how to give yourself permission to be unavailable. To burn guilt and shame, you get to step away from mom guilt.

From martyr-mode. Into your full power as a person outside of parenting.

I know you’ve read the books, tried the methods, and feel like nothing works. You’re stuck in this Groundhog Day exhaustion, resentment, and frustration.

But, there is hope.

You become a better parent and partner when you hold boundaries in your life. When you take steps, even small ones, to reach your own goals.

When you start to value your own time, you show your kids that everyone in the family is important. Everyone deserves time to focus on their own goals and be their own person.

Everyone contributes to the household and everyone deserves their own goals and passions.

This might feel impossible to you right now. But the way that you get started is simple.

Start by scheduling time for yourself. Even if it’s 5 or 10 minutes.

This is time that your partner or someone else is in charge of the kids. Maybe you leave the house and take a 10-minute walk once a day. Maybe you take yourself out for coffee.

Maybe you drive to the nearest park and sit on a bench for 10 minutes, taking deep breaths and obsessing over how bathtime is going at home.

But create that time for yourself.

Even if you have no idea what you want to do during that time. If you’ve lost sight of your own goals.

Take 5 minutes to have a cup of tea and sit in the quiet.

Take 10 minutes to think about things you used to enjoy before life got busy with kids, household tasks, and work.

Create the time.

And hold to that time like you would a work meeting, time with your kids, or a doctor’s appointment.

Your partner can handle the kids for 5 minutes. You can leave a snack out before you leave.

Over time, you can increase this to an entire evening once a month. Maybe once a week if you want to get crazy!

We can explore how to take this to another level down the road. For today, get some time on your calendar and make it happen.

Want to talk through how to make this happen? Schedule a Get On Track call with me.